31.10.00 11:42 PM | link ]

I'm all antsy about ranking day. I know I've commented about this before, but the closer it gets, the antsier I get. I think it's a combination of a few things:

  1. everyone's wondering what's going on with subletting our place here. Which of course I can't say until I find out where I am going to be working. This doesn't give much time to figure things out after rankings come out.
  2. Since registration is this week, I've been thinking about classes I need to take. Originally I was going to take something through Distance Ed, but if I end up in Waterloo, then I could actually take the courses in class, which would be much more interesting. I learn by being there, not by reading. This would then free up time for me to take other interest courses when I come back full-time next term. Yippee!
I think it all really boils down to the fact that I hate having things unsettled. I want to know. I don't like having my life up in the air all the time.

10:53 PM | link ]

I gotta say, I like Kid A . I waited until today because I knew I would be buying the new U2 album (which, BTW, I also like very much) so I figured I would kill two birds with one stone. Wish I had bought it sooner. Yes, it's not like OK Computer or the Bends. So what? Why would I buy something that sounded exactly like something else I already owned?

6:20 PM | link ]

ack! Registration for next term starts tomorrow and I've somehow managed to lose the little plan I have of courses I have to take to finish my degree. I am not pleased with myself - it has everything on it: which courses I'm switching for which, which courses I have left to take, when courses are offered (since they aren't offered every term). *Everything*. And I have no idea where it is.

grrrrrr ...


30.10.00 7:43 PM | link ]

A little word of warning: try at all costs to avoid spilling sugar down your pants. It's somewhat like sand in that it has a very gritty texture, but it is much stickier and hence you cannot just "shake it out".


29.10.00 3:25 AM | link ]

Have you ever had one of those moments where you wish you could take back time? I have a funny feeling that I kinda mighta accidentally blown someone off last night, and I really, *really* did not mean to. Maybe he didn't take it that way. I hope he didn't take it that way.

It's this guy I'm trying to set myself up with. I'm shy, he's shy (so I'm told). I don't really get many chances to talk to him, but he was at our house last night and as we were leaving, he called out to me and said "have a good time at the party." And all I did was briefly turn around, wish him a good time where he was going, and then turn back to get in the car. Ten seconds maximum. And after the moment had passed, I realised I could have played that so much differently than I had. I could have held eye contact for longer, chatted it up a bit more, basically done anything other than what I did. I think I was just so caught off guard that he had actually called out to me, specifically, just to wish me a good time. My overactive little mind has been working overtime on this.

Maybe I'm making too much of it, I don't know. Maybe he's was only being polite. Maybe I just worry too much.

2:52 AM | link ]

Oh, my. That was one *kick-ass* party. And, as I predicted, the coat came off. Not because of my drunken state, I actually drank very little, but because of my need to win a prize. For my striptease (all I had to do was take off the coat, nothing else - get your minds out of the gutter), I was awarded four condoms and a VIP membership to the stag shop. Not too shabby for my one minute in the spotlight. I did not, however, win the prize for the sluttiest costume. Another friend took that honour home, along with a pocket vibrator. Do my friends know how to throw a party or what!


28.10.00 6:38 PM | link ]

I'm going to a "pimp and whore" Halloween party tonight. It should be interesting to say the least. All I know is that I would *never* leave the house dressed this way on a normal day. My "costume" consists of knee-high boots, a short blank skirt and a tube-like top. The crowning touch though is the leather coat I picked up at a second hand store for five bucks. My roommate, in typical guy fashion, suggested I wear nothing but the boots and coat but I somehow think that during the night I might get hot and in a drunken state forget that I have nothing on under the coat and just take it off. I guess I'd probably win best costume for that though ...


26.10.00 9:12 PM | link ]

Apparently my very good mood today is scaring my roommates. They suspect that I am hiding something from them, or that I know some deep, dark secret about them. They don't know what to make of me being *happy*. Am I really that miserable all the time?

The truth of the matter is, I've just been having a really good day. Maybe it's because I didn't get out of bed until 2, maybe it's because I finally got the new design up. Who knows. All I know is that I hope it continues. I kinda like it.

11:29 AM | link ]

Do you know I have 63 stories in my story folder on my computer? I only know this because I had to go through every single one of them to change the links for this new design. I think this might soon be the limiting factor as to how often I can reasonably change things around.

9:27 AM | link ]

Ugh. I have a distinctly hungover feeling this morning, although absolutely no alcohol was consumed last night. Instead, I was up until 3am playing with javascript. I've gotten tired of the frames on my site and wanted to change it ( come on now, with my track record you knew it was bound to happen soon! ). At the same time I decided to clean everything up a bit, making a separate .js file to cut down on all the repetition that having a non-framed site was creating. The results of my efforts will be available soon.

Oh, and on a side note, the sleeplessness is coming back. Seems I didn't win that battle after all. Does anyone have any suggestions for me? Any at all??


25.10.00 1:47 PM | link ]

I'm getting really anxious for ranking day. Only a little less than two more weeks to go until I find out if and where I have a job next term. I'm not really worried about the if - I'm confident in my skills. And the where is not so much a concern as a curiousity. The anxiety then comes from the fact that I am a slightly impatient person sometimes. I really don't like this waiting game very much. First it was the waiting game to see which companies liked my resume enough to grant me an interview. That has been going on for the past month. Now it's the waiting game to see which of those interviews will extend into offers. That ends in two weeks, unless I am not given any offers but am only "ranked" - not their first choice, but somewhere between second and last choice. If this happens then the waiting game is extended another week through the matching process. If there is no match, the game could go on for as much as another three to four months.

wait, wait, wait ... that's all I do.

10:49 AM | link ]

Of course, on one of the few days when the people in my house actually remember to lock *all* the doors when they leave is also the day that I realize I've left my keys on my desk. Thank God for windows that don't latch properly.

This is only the second time I've ever found myself locked out of the house. The first was when I was about 11 years old and home alone on some school holiday. It was in the winter and I went to put a can into the recycling by the curb, shutting the door behind me out of habit. Of course, our doors locked automatically when you shut them, so I was left outside, in my *pyjamas* and it was only about 10 in the morning. I checked the back patio door, side door and the side entry garage door. All were locked. And I was cold. Thinking that maybe the door from the garage into the house was unlocked, I took a rock to the side garage door, smashing a hole so I could squeeeze my hand through to unlock it. It took me probably 20 minutes to do it, I was so cold. Unfortunately, once I got in I found the door leading to the house was also locked, so I sat in the garage to wait until my mother came home from work (at about 6 .. I know, I was a stupid kid). It didn't take long before the cold got to me and I decided to try to break one of the basement windows to get in instead. I took the rock I had used to break into the garage, but after repeated attempts I could not break the window. Finding a hammer, I took that to the window but was still unable to break it. By this point I was miserable with the cold, so I went back into the garage to search for anything else I could use to break the window. I tried a few other things, among them a pick-like instrument, but blow after blow made no significant impact - all I was able to do was put I few dents in the window, but no cracks. I finally retreated to the garage to wait for my mother to get home.

In the early afternoon, frustrated by the cold, I went next door to the neighbour's to call my mom to tell her I was locked out and to ask her to come home as soon as she could after work. Why I didn't think of going over there earlier, I do not know. What is even more baffling to me now is that I refused my neighbour's offer to stay in her house until my mom got home, choosing instead to go back and sit in the cold garage to wait for my mother.

hmm ... warm house, cold garage - yes I can see why I chose the garage. (stupid kid!) Actually the reason I chose the garage was because I didn't want to impose on my neighbour. Even at 11 I was the considerate little girl.

Afert all this, my mother got home *late* from work and was angry that I had put a hole in the door rather than just breaking the window in the first place. It was cheap to replace the window, but expensive to fix the door.

For a while, I was very paranoid about locking doors and having my keys on me. My roommates for the past few years have been pretty lax about locking doors, so I guess I got a little careless. Nothing like being locked out to bring back such *fond* memories. :)


23.10.00 6:18 PM | link ]

As much as I don't like having 8:30s every morning, I have noticed that the trees are especially beautiful at the time that I am walking to school. The sun is just barely over the horizon and hits the trees from a very low angle, creating a kind of glow about them. Combine this with the marvelous colours of the leaves and you have a pretty spectacular sight.

This morning was particularly nice. It was cold enough that my breath was visible in the air, and cold enough that there was steam rising off the lake on campus, creating a mist around the trees that the sun had to cut through. I was bundled warmly in my jacket, making me feel all cosy. And it was surprisingly quiet on Campus (I guess Monday morning isn't much of a motivator to go to class). It was the perfect way to start a Monday.

8:00 AM | link ]

I didn't want to say anything for fear of jinxing it, but for the past week or two I've actually been sleeping through the night.

No more waking up 6 or more times a night.

No more going to bed at 9:30 just so I have the *chance* of maybe accumulating more than 5 hours of sleep over the course of the night.

No more missing out on things I really want to do because I am too tired.

No more dreading the sound of the alarm clock ... well, okay, maybe that hasn't changed. {grin}

But no more grouchy spike.



20.10.00 5:47 PM | link ]

Your eyes are burning holes through me.
I'm gasoline. I'm burnin' clean.

- REM, Electrolite


19.10.00 6:23 PM | link ]

So, after looking at the solutions to the midterm I wrote this morning (I can't believe my prof was so quick about getting them out) it turns out that I just may not have done as badly as I thought I had walking out of the exam. Guess I'm too hard on myself. I got flustered on a question but I think I can get part marks to make up for it. Having to leave the exam early to go to an interview didn't really help my concentration either. But all is well now. Next on the agenda is my quiz tomorrow morning. No rest for the weary tonight. *Tomorrow* night though, that's a totally different story ;)


18.10.00 12:20 PM | link ]

I now have three, count 'em *3* interviews scheduled for tomorrow, pus a midterm. I am going to be very, very tired by the end of tomorrow. Not that I am complaining about the abundance of interviews, don't get me wrong about that. I'm happy about that. And I'm happy that I stuck with my plan of applying to jobs that I wanted, rather than just jobs that I knew I could get. I may not have as many interviews this term as I've had in previous terms, but hopefully at least I will find a more fulfilling job. I just find it hard to sell myself sometimes.

oops! Looking over my resume right now, I found a spelling error! Dammit. Maybe *that's* the real reason my interview count has decreased ...


17.10.00 10:05 PM | link ]

Now, I know it's only been a day since the last new word, but this one was just too fun to pass up on: phantasmagoric. Is that not a cool word! It is defined as: a fantastic sequence of haphazardly associative imagery, as seen in dreams or fever. I was actually looking up the word surreal on dictionary.com and came across this one and I simply could not resist.

"The world seemed almost surreal to me today, full of phantasmagoric scenes."


16.10.00 9:20 PM | link ]

My, my. I finally put up a new word: altruistic . I found it while trying to finish the cryptic crossword today (damn, some of those clues are hard!). I had no clue what it meant, I just liked the sound of it. I was kind of surprised by its meaning: showing unselfish concern for the welfare of others. For some reason, I wouldn't have thought it meant that. Anyway, here it is in a loverly sentence: "It is sometimes hard to find altruistic people in this cynical world of ours." My duty is done now.


15.10.00 1:25 PM | link ]

I got bored of the purpley colour and switched it up a bit. I'm finding myself quite restless these days ...


12.10.00 4:10 PM | link ]

Last night my hedgehog kept me awake for the better part of two and a half hours. Once I had finally ripped his wheel from his cage, I could not fall asleep for another half an hour. In the meantime I wrote this hedgehog haiku:

spikey lil' hedgie
keeps me awake all night long
running in his wheel

You will note it's not very good. Or creative in any way. But keep in mind that it was written quite early in the morning on very little sleep.


10.10.00 9:33 PM | link ]

Okay, the pictures for Beautiful Things didn't quite work out as I envisioned them, so I had to scrap most of them. Such is life.

5:13 PM | link ]

woohoo! The gas company gave me a lotto ticket for signing up as a new subscriber! And I won 5 bucks!! So many possibilities, whatever shall I do ...

Seriously though, I do think it's pretty cool that the company would do that. And it added a fun little element to my day.

2:15 PM | link ]

Back in the 'loo after a nice relaxing Thanksgiving weekend. I really did nothing while at home except veg on the couch and eat. And buy a scanner. Yes, after much soul searching and contemplation, I gave in and purchased a nice little scanning machine. New toys are always so much fun ... to commemorate this momentous occasion, here's a nice little pic I scanned:


It's from my trip to Grand Cayman about a month ago. Swimming with stingrays. It was *very* cool.


7.10.00 10:29 AM | link ]

And ... of course Radiohead was sold out by the time our number came up at Ticketmaster. Next time I guess.

2:14 AM | link ]

mmm. So, Octoberfest has started for me. Granted, tonight was an *unofficial* Octoberfest event, it still involved beer and fun. So, really, I can't complain. But typing is hard. :P

Now there's just the whole Thanksgiving thing to do. I get to see my kittens. I'm pretty happy about going home.


6.10.00 6:06 PM | link ]

ooooo. I found a secret stash of money today, meaning that I *can* afford that scanner I've been eying. I'm hoping to pick it up this weekend. The posting of a new story has actually been hinging on my purchase of this scanner, so I might have a treat for you next week sometime. Plus I could really use a new toy to play with.

only 11 days 'til Radiohead ...


4.10.00 10:17 PM | link ]

After almost an entire container, vanilla icing tends to lose it's sweet icy goodness ...

either that, or grape koolaid was not the best thing to be drinking with it.


3.10.00 9:52 PM | link ]

It turns out I CAN see Radiohead after all!! I talked to my prof and asked if I could write the exam in the time slot for the other section, which runs a different night and he had no problems with it. I don't think I can express clearly enough how excited this makes me ...

Only 14 days until the concert ...

2:35 PM | link ]

Why must I always miss the concerts I want to see!?! *Why*? I missed BT because of camping and now I just found out that I am going to miss the Radiohead concert because of a midterm!! Grrr!!


2.10.00 11:08 PM | link ]

{ Yes, the following entry was edited shortly after being posted, details being removed because of a promise I made. And no, this is not up for discussion. I vented, the moment has passed, I feel better now }

Hmmm. So I made some interesting personal discoveries today: not all 'friends' are friends, the truth can be warped *so* easily, and not everyone is willing to find out what is false and what is real. And the feeling I come out with at the end of all this is: how am I supposed to fight a battle I didn't even know was being waged against me?

The fact is, when it comes from your 'friends', it hurts even more. And I'm not the type to let things slide off my back. I take it personally when friends attack me, particularily when it is behind my back.