30.6.01 12:42 AM | tracy in a nutshell?  ]

Blatently stolen from Julie I present you with my ColorQuiz results.

But first, a little comment. When I took MSci (can't remember if it was 211 or 311) a while back we did a handwriting analysis test. We each wrote out a given paragraph in our own writing and it was analysed by a specialist. It was something to do with figuring out how we work with other people. A week later a typewritten sheet with our results was handed back to each of us and an informal survey taken to see how well people thought the analysis fit them. In my section, about 40% thought it was fairly accurate and 30% said very accurate. About 30% thought it was not accurate. It was then revealed that our writing had not been analysed at all. In fact, the typewriten sheet was exactly the same for every person. This little test was to show us that we tend to believe what we are told about ourselves, especially if the statements are made in fairly broad terms. That's why psychics seem so insightful and why people believe in horoscopes. This test was especially "convincing" because it was presented as a legitimate test, so we would assume that the analysis was backed up with credible evidence to support the conclusions.

Now, I'm not trying to judge whether or not the ColorTest is accurate or not, I'm just prefacing the statements to come. And I thought it was an interesting tidbit of information. It's not like I can easily share most of the things I learn in school. Now on to my results:

Your Existing Situation
Needs warm companionship, but is intolerant of anything short of special consideration from those close to her. If this is not forthcoming, is liable to shut herself away from them.

Your Stress Sources
Feels in an invidious position: that trust, affection, and understanding are being withheld and that she is being treated with a humiliating lack of consideration. Considers she is being denied the appreciation essential to her self-esteem and that there is nothing she can do about it. Disheartened by the lone struggle against difficulties with no encouragement. Feels she is getting nowhere; that, instead of the admiration she needs, she is consistently misunderstood. Wants to escape from the situation but cannot find the strength of mind to make the necessary decision.

Your Restrained Characteristics
Willing to become emotionally involved and able to achieve satisfaction through sexual activity, but tries to avoid conflict.

Your Desired Objective
Seeks success, stimulation, and a life full of experience. Wants to develop freely and to shake off the shackles of self-doubt, to win, and to live intensely. Likes contacts with others and is enthusiastic by nature. Receptive to anything new, modern, or intriguing; has many interests and wants to expand her fields of activity. Optimistic about the future.

Your Actual Problem
Wants to act freely and uninhibitedly, but is restrained by her need to have things on a rational, consistent, and clearly-defined basis.

Your Actual Problem #2
The tensions induced by trying to cope with conditions which are really beyond her capabilities, or her reserves of strength, have led to considerable anxiety and a sense of personal (but unadmitted) inadequacy. She attempts to remedy this by intense activity and by insistence on getting her own way. Faulty self-control can lead to ungovernable displays of anger.


29.6.01 8:10 PM | 1984  ]

Rental driver finds Big Brother over shoulder

I remember similar concerns arising when the 407 was introduced. (It's a toll road that runs across the north end of Toronto). Since it records where you enter and exit the highway in order to figure out how far you have travelled and how much you owe, many people were afraid that this information could be used to determine if they had been speeding. Of course there were many, many denials that the system would ever be used that way, especially since it is privately owned, but I think that thought still lingers in the air. I've never heard of a case, but never say never.

12:47 AM | where there's smoke ...  ]

Hmm. I do recall a short while ago the unfinished count was down to twelve. That was several writings ago. Even with the completion of Smoke Signals the count is still at twelve.

I think I'm doing something wrong.


28.6.01 10:32 PM | any takers?  ]

I'm thinking of starting up a collection fund to buy Brad a webcam. Mostly because every time he comes into my room he asks "Is the webcam on?" and if it is, he proceeds to spend a few minutes hiding from it, complaining that it's "not a good angle for me" and then spends another several minutes perched at my computer making faces at it. As amusing as all this is for me, and it is amusing, I feel he might be missing out on the finer aspects of owning a webcam. And since he refuses to buy one himself (too "trendy"), I am left with no other solutions.

What do you think? Will it fly? Donations, money or otherwise*, are always graciously accepted.

*In the case of a webcam, if it's better than mine, I might do a pre-Brad trade. Because really, it's only the end result that matters right?

10:22 PM | one more time  ]

Some things never change.


27.6.01 9:14 AM | my own little menagerie  ]

When I was a child I wanted a pet duck *soooo* very badly. I pretty much wanted every pet as a child, but the idea of having a duck stuck with me for quite a few years (that and having a monkey). Of course as a child I never really considered how *messy* owning a duck would be (because of course, like any other pet, it would be allowed to roam in the house in my mind). But my mother could not be convinced in the slightest to allow me to have a duck.

I wonder if The Pet Duck Association might have helped my position or not. They cover the basics of choosing a duck, caring for your duck, and where to buy supplies for your indoor duck. The Duck Diaper might have even solved the mess problem.

BTW, the list of pets I *have* owned in my lifetime includes: 20 some-odd gerbils (they breed like crazy), hamsters (many and of assorted breeds), fish fish and more fish, cats (6 at the latest count), a turtle, a rabbit, a lovebird, and of course the hedgehog. The only "normal" pet I wasn't allowed was a dog (which I of course wanted). So it's not like I was deprived of pets or anything. But you always want what you can't have, right?

12:01 AM | wimp  ]

Okay, I admit it. I'm posting this partly because the mere fact that I haven't posted in ... 5 days now ... is beginning to wear me thin. The more time that passes between posts, the less I feel like actually posting. And yet I can see that you have all been faithful to me in my absence, returning time and time again only to be let down by the lack of updates. I feel your pain. Let me try and make it all better.

Part of the problem is that I feel like everything has been said before. By me, by you, by everyone. News has gone around the world and back again and I see no need to be one more blip on the radar. The only things that are new are those that come from our heads, but how many people really (and I mean *really*) invite you into their heads? Honestly, not me. You may think that I do but have you ever considered that perhaps I'm just a very good liar?

Actually I am a pretty good liar now that I think of it. Of course, people are also sometimes very bad listeners. But I digress ...

The funny thing is, what I want to blog I can't because it would make sense to no one but me. And for it to make sense to you ... well, that would require too much explanation. Most of it also falls into that "too much information" trap - for me, not for you. I can't just reveal information. I don't work well that way. I work much better on an ask-and-tell basis than one that requires me to voluntarily give up details of any sort. Ask me anything and I will (probably) be completely truthful. But ask me to tell you something, anything, and I'll clam right up. It comes from the fact that I've always thought that what you choose to reveal says almost more about you than the actual information you reveal. That's why in conversations I prefer questions rather than confessions. It gives me an idea of what you expect me to confess, which I can then use as a pattern for revealing information. Of course, then I guess I'm really just squishing myself into whatever mold it is you see me in, rather than actually making my own mold.

Ahh. Enough introspection for one night. I don't want to scare you off or anything.


22.6.01 1:54 PM | the wonders of technology  ]

I love it when you phone to get information and the automated system tells you the information is effective June 26th (Not effective *until* June 26th - I listened to it three times - but effective June 26th) and of course today is only the 22nd, which then leaves you wondering a whole hell of a lot but mostly how to find out what you need to know today, which is of course why you phoned in the first place.

And when you press "0" to speak to the operator because the automated system in no way answers the question you have and it rings and rings and rings and rings before you finally hang up out of frustration, no closer to an answer than you were before.

I love those kinds of systems.

8:44 AM | get fuzzy  ]

My day is complete. I can go back to bed. I've finally learned what "smacky" is.

(9:56 AM | Note: I always assumed smacky was a bear or a toy, but could never verify this when other people asked me what smacky was. Today's comic was the first time smacky was shown. So it's more of a confirmation, not so much a discovery. Either way, I should get to go back to bed. But I can't. Woe is me.)


21.6.01 10:07 PM | two's company, three's a crowd  ]

I throw a question out to you, because, well, frankly I'm a more than a little stumped and I don't want to trample on tradition or manners. Here's my conundrum:

As I mentioned before , a good friend of mine is getting married next year and I am her Maid of Honour (which is one reason I have been flitting back and forth between Waterloo and Mississauga this past week). Yesterday I spent half the day helping her work out details for her gown (it's going to be custom made) and also helping them shop for wedding rings. She and her fiance would like to get matching rings but have yet to find ones they agree on. So here's the question: is it odd (in a good way) that she asked if I wanted to get a matching ring too? Really, is it? I need to know. I was completely surprised by the question, having never considered the idea, so I'm not sure I gave her a very good answer.

I'm torn. On one hand, I see the rings as a symbol of their marriage and commitment (which they are) and my having a matching one seems almost intrusive or infriging on that in a way, even if she was the one who suggested it. On the other hand ... it's an interesting idea and the fact that it makes me feel like she wants to include me in this special way is so very touching and sweet and so many other words that don't describe it well enough.

So ... is this not as rare as it seems to me? Is this a tradition I have never heard of? Making a new tradition? Let me know. Please.

11:17 AM | frequent driver miles?  ]

Sorry 'bout the lack of posts, but to explain a little, here's a peek at the week gone by:

Friday morning: In Waterloo
Friday afternoon: Drive to Mississauga
Saturday afternoon: Drive back to Waterloo
Sunday morning: Drive back to Mississauga
Sunday evening: Drive back to Waterloo
Wednesday morning: Bus to Toronto, then another to Mississauga
Thursday morning: GO train to Toronto, bus to Waterloo

That brings us up to the present day. The next few days include:

Saturday (early) morning: Bus to Mississauga
Sunday evening: Drive back to Waterloo

Dizzy yet? I am.


18.6.01 10:58 PM | phenomenology  ]

Umm .. aren't dictionaries suppose to make things clearer? If so, why does this still seem so very convoluted:

" phe·nom·e·nol·o·gy
A philosophy or method of inquiry based on the premise that reality consists of objects and events as they are perceived or understood in human consciousness and not of anything independent of human consciousness." - dictionary.com

Only after we wade through that explanation are we given the definition "A description, history, or explanation of phenomena." Really people, simplicity is everything. Everything.

10:04 PM | so love really is like a drug  ]

When It Comes to Love, the Nose Knows - love and lust reduced to chemical reactions. Kinda takes all the fun out of the idea, but it's an interesting read.

"Romantic love ... is related to abnormalities in the neurotransmitters serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine, making it biochemically similar to obsessive-compulsive disorder, a psychiatric illness where thoughts of a single subject dominate the patient's life."
Now, where do I get me some of those pheromones, 'cuz I think mine are broken.


15.6.01 9:44 AM | next: more leg room  ]

Airlines race to provide in-flight Web access. As if I didn't already love flying enough.

You could see this one coming for quite a while, but the fact that I now see it being implented is actually kinda cool. The prices they quote (20 bucks an hour to surf the web) seem a little high, but then again, things are always pricey when first introduced.

As much as I think it's interesting though, I'm not sure I would shell out the money just to surf the web. I like the web, I really do, but a book or magazine will amuse me pretty well for an hour at a price far below $20. Still, an interesting idea.

1:11 AM | random thought  ]

The Quiz That Thought it was a Midterm.

Maybe most of you are past the university/college phase, I have no clue. I only know how many people come here, nothing more. But perhaps you can relate to this regardless.

This evening, I had the pleasure of writing my business midterm. Not too shocking, I know. It was an open book midterm, which again is not too surprising given that it is a business class. What gets me is the fact that it is only worth 10% of my final mark.

Just showing up to class every week is worth more than that.

I just don't understand the point of having an open book midterm worth 10%. Especially since the rest of the course is primarily case-based and we knew before entering class tonight that this midterm was *not* case-based. Is there a rule saying you *must* have a midterm and the lowest weight you can give to it is 10%? This might make sense to me then if that were the case. Of course I know of no such rule, but I'm also not really a Laurier student. Waterloo has no such rule, that I do know. In fact in some courses, such as stats, almost the opposite seems to run true; I have yet to have a midterm in any one of my stats classes and I have taken quite a few stats classes. Nary a midterm to be seen.

Strangely enough, I think I would feel better if it was just worth more than 10% of my mark.


13.6.01 2:24 AM | the thrill of the chase  ]

I know, I know. I've been a naughty little girl. I do hope you can forgive me.

I have been working on writings , I really have. I just have this very bad habit of starting new ones all the time, rather than finishing off old ones. I'm working with my therapist * to curb these behaviours. We're slowly begininng to see some results now. In the meantime, here's to the thrill of the chase .

*not a licensed therapist. But good at bugging me to get off my ass and write.


10.6.01 5:44 PM | procrastinatious  ]

This weekend was filled with hedonistic activites such as lying in bed all day, not getting dressed until just before dinner (can't go out in my underwear, no matter what *some* people say) and in general having a good time without worrying about what I should or should not be doing.

I was going to spend the day today writing but I seem to be having a few problems focusing. Instead I shall share an interesting tidbit I ran across today - Underworld hit man now writing children's story. I'm sure it will be a sharp contrast from some of his other books, such as How to Shoot Friends and Influence People.


9.6.01 4:53 PM | love the furballs  ]

I thought these haikus were absolutely hilarious and so on the money. I think my favourites are:

the rule for today:
touch my tail, i shred your hand.
new rule tomorrow.


i want to be close.
may i try to fit my head
inside your armpit?

In the spirit of it all, I have my own to add:

give me tuna please?
What do you mean by saying
only half the can?

four in the morning
seems to me like a fine time
to let me outside


8.6.01 1:55 PM | yeah  ]



7.6.01 11:52 PM | slurp  ]

It's funny how some people can just absolutely suck the life from you and they don't even know it. You can be in the best mood and suddenly *poof*, all for naught.

Of course I'm probably one of those people sometimes. I can accept that. As long as I don't do it on a regular basis or anything.

Then of course there are those people who can bring you up just by looking at you, or by one word from their mouth. And you don't always understand why it works that way, but it does. And you can only thank your lucky stars that they exist, although you probably don't even recognize the effect they have on you.

I hope I am one of those people sometimes too. And more often than not.

Note: No, this is not about any particular person, nor is it a necessarily *recent* revelation. Just a thought that popped in my head, that's all.

There, I think that disclaimer covers all bases.

6:29 PM | administrative details  ]

Hehe. I know you weren't pointing fingers Matt when you mentioned other blogs that weren't on the webring. My "rant" was very tongue-in-cheek. But I guess I was also trying to make a point: *other* ring members can invite people just as well as I can. All it takes is an email. I was not trying to pick on you or Nick. I'm sorry if I gave that impression.

As for the 'blogcest' ... well, Brad and I do live together so we know lots of dirt on each other. And of course what better place to spread that dirt than the web? :)

6:06 PM | mmmm .. ouce cream  ]

Reading the case study for my business class tonight has me very hungry. It's all about Ben and Jerry's. Really now, how do they expect a girl like me to concentrate when they are filling my head with thoughts of ice cream??

My favourite: Mint Chocolate Cookie. It comes a very close second to Baskin Robbins' Mint Chocolate Chip. And as Brad pointed out, I love that ice cream so much, if I could I would marry it. In a heartbeat.

10:07 AM | the pressure's too much!  ]

Wow. Now everyone's getting on my ass about signing people up for the webring.

First it was an email from Nick , accusing me of sitting on my ass and looking pretty while ignoring my ringmaster duties.

Now Matt's getting in on the action.

I'm only one person people! You are all my eyes and ears when it comes to finding new sites to invite. I need you!

Actually, I love the fact that people want this ring to be as successful as possible. I wasn't sure when we first created it if people would even want to join, let alone tell others about it. But it seems those fears were unfounded. So thank you. And keep those suggestions coming.

There are of course 2 rules for joining:

  1. You must be a UW student, grad, alumni, or otherwise closely associated with UW.
  2. You must blog, have a journal site, or something similar that gets updated regularly.
I think those are pretty easy rules to follow.


6.6.01 6:37 PM | oh.my.god.  ]

I am soooo sorry Brad!

The phone rang two seconds ago. I answered. I *honestly* thought it was our friend Emily. She asked to speak to Brad. I told him it was Emily. He answered the phone with an emphatic "What's up Be-otch?"


Now, in my defense, I have never spoken to his mother, so I wouldn't know her voice. And she did sound like Em.

And she did hear what he said.

5:31 PM | I think I need more sleep  ]

I don't know why this amuses me, but it does. I needed a new backpack since the zipper on mine is busted, so I went scouting around MEC. Lo and behold, I found a backpack I liked. Only one problem: I'm not a MEC member. Both my brother and mother are, but not yours truly. So, figuring it's only five bucks, I signed up for one. And it added the cost to my bill, as you can see below:

It's the little picture for the membership that has me so amused. Since MEC memberships actually work on the basis that you buy a share of the company, that's what the picture is of. Too funny.

I know, I know. Small things, small minds.

8:52 AM | umm .. well ... yah  ]

I was all ready to defend myself against rafi's comment ("I never skip class!") only to realize that of course I do skip class. I skip stats as much as I can without failing the class (which is of course isn't that often since it is *stats*). Then I was going to rationalize it as "Well, I never skip that class". But of course there was that one night a few weeks ago when I skipped it to go to the first U2 concert in Toronto.

So of course that leaves me back at the beginning.


4.6.01 8:53 PM | although aparently it wasn't so good  ]


I was given the opportunity to go to an info session tonight for a company Brad is interviewing with, but declined on the grounds that I wasn't dressed up enough.

Now, not only do I find out that *no-one* was dressed up, but they had complimentary beer and sushi!

11:30 AM | and only two fires so far  ]

Brad and I have finally lost our cable. I guess that's what we get for not paying for it.

On a related note, with no cable Brad has finally succumbed and been sucked into the world of the Sims. I phoned him after class and found out he had spent the previous two and a half hours playing it on my computer. He was even looking up expansions packs for it.

It's funny how you can get sucked into the game. You keep rationalizing why you should play just a little longer - waiting until your Sim gets a promotion, or until they reach a certain level of happiness, or have a certain amount of money. And then sometimes it's just funny to watch them as they set fire to their stoves, or when you have to sell some of their possessions because they've run out of money and are complaining of hunger. But not to worry, they can live for days without food.


3.6.01 12:51 PM | I don't think I'll ever get enough  ]


mmmm. sushi.


2.6.01 1:02 PM | maybe it's time for a little brother or sister?  ]

A belated Happy Anniversary to Brad and midnight inferno . June 1 was one year on the web. Seems like it was born just a short time ago.

The baby's getting so big!

4:00 AM | one down, twelve to go  ]

I got a spurt of energy and finally finished everything. And although it says January, it was actually one of the ones that got pushed to 'January' when the new year rolled around. It is from late 2000 though, that I know.


1.6.01 11:59 AM | and lack of oxygen maybe  ]

Waterloo has mail problems (I mean the city, not the university).

The postcards I sent from Sedona have yet to arrive, five and a half weeks later. The ones to Toronto and vicinity arrived a good four weeks ago.

On the other hand, perhaps this is a blessing in disguise. Postcards have too much space to write a simple "Hi, enjoying my vacation. See you when I get home! Tracy" but not enough space to actually share any of the experiences of the trip. Instead, I babble incoherently.

I was going to just blame it on heat stroke.

10:11 AM | yes officer?  ]

All I can say is what an idiot.