28.2.01 10:10 PM | age of aquarius  ]

Only a few weeks more until I find out what 23 is the age of.

You see, Terry has a tradition. A wonderful tradition at that. Each year, she comes up with a "description" of what that year will be. It's kind of like a mantra, or 'goal' even for the year. Something to get you to think and act.

21 was sexy.

22 is the age of experience.

and 23 ... well, that's still to be determined.

I thought perhaps it might have been set already with the passing of Rafi's birthday, but it seems that *my* birthday is the unveiling day, as that has always been the tradition. And you can't mess with tradition.

any guesses as to what it might be?


26.2.01 8:15 PM | thanks. thanks ever so *very* much  ]

Ever have those 'bonding' moments with roommates? I do on occasion. So it was no surprise that my roommate and I spent a few minutes catching up on our weekends tonight. She even told me all about the new jeans she bought - you know, like your skank jeans.

.... 'scuse me? I have skank jeans?

Yes, according to the all-knowing and ever-popular Terry, my jeans are skanky. To be precise, *all* my jeans are skanky (seeing as they are all the same). The jeans that are a staple of my wardrobe, the jeans that I wear *to work*. Skanky. Why was I not made aware of this?

Sure, I could blame her frankness on the three pints she consumed earlier tonight. But really, alkyhol doesn't make you tell lies, it just strips away your inhibitions.


25.2.01 7:43 PM | follow the leader  ]

Sitting at my computer for the past few weeks, out of the corner of my eye I kept seeing these shapes pass by my window. At first I dismissed it as squirrels jumping between branches. But on closer inspection, the branches really aren't that close to my window, and as the sightings continued, I noticed that the movement was more of a downward motion than an across motion.

I was beginning to wonder if perhaps we had a colony of suicidal squirrels or lemmings living on our roof:

... after you ...
  ... no please, after *you* ...

This afternoon, after seeing about three pass by in quick succession, my curiousity got the better of me. Shingles. Many, many, many shingles lay below my window. Quite a substantial pile of shingles - shingles that really should be on our roof, protecting us from the cold and wet of the elements.

Only 54 more days in the crackhouse ....

7:19 PM | i'm baaack  ]

Sometime yesterday afternoon my computer began experiencing some technical difficulties:

at oMOIND OF it's ownave somewhard, but it seems to hat I did to my /keyboI'm not quite sure wh
In case you are as lost as I was, that says "I'm not quite sure what I did to my keyboard, but it seems to have somewhat of a mind of it's own". The F key either turned on Caps Lock or did the ALT-F combination. The Caps Lock key actually typed a lower case f, and the t key, among many others, decided to function as the home key. And these are only a few of the combinations I managed to figure out before shutting off my computer out of frustration.

It was suggested that the likely culprit was some sort of liquid substance, although I'm not quite sure how as I wasn't actually drinking anything at the time these problems began. It just started sporadically typing as above. But, all is well now. The liquid, or whatever it was, seems to have evaporated and left no lingering effects and I can now get back to all the work I had to do this weekend.

Which, unfortunately for me, is actually on my computer at work.


24.2.01 5:01 PM | yoka  ]

at oMOIND OF it's ownave somewhard, but it seems to hat I did to my /keyboI'm not quite sure wh

2:46 AM | drumroll please ...  ]

Okay, the wait is over. The results are in. The people have spoken.

The results weren't really a surprise. I am glad we got more than three responses, and we were pleasantly surprised at the number of people who added comments. Here's the breakdown:

  Men Women Total
a. I like 'em with some experience. 4 3 7
b. virgin-smirgin. doesn't matter 14 3 17
TOTAL 18 6 24

We did have one abstainer: "I cannot pick just 'a' or 'b' ... a virgin does create a somewhat more touchy issue, as emotions are more likely to be stirred up...so to speak"

One person admitted he was "afraid of the v-word. Too much pressure!!"

As I said, not exactly surprising results. And as more than a few people pointed out, "it depends on the person". Two of the more interesting responses are excerpted below. You can find the full responses here.

"heheh. yeah yeah baybee. I like to be thrown around a little bit. actually, a lot. at some point during the sex session, I want to have to utter the words 'you want me to do WHAT??'"
"Both scenarios tend to put the "blame" on your friends shoulders. Nonsense girl. Can she help it if the guys she hangs with are a bunch of pussies?"
Thanks again for all the responses. It was an interesting experience, to say the least.


23.2.01 7:06 AM | oh my  ]

3 out of 4 Donald's recommend mayhaps.com.

An interesting link in my referrer logs this morning: BlogYou has RatedMe. Yes, my site in all its glory has been scrutinized and given ... 3 Donalds.

On top of this wonderful honour, they have even supplied me with a new current word: highfalutin.

um ... only one comment ... you say ' ... dish out anything other than his highfalutin mashed potatos". I trust this is merely an errant typo. I am quite female.


22.2.01 10:56 PM | 24 hours to go  ]

Only one more day to vote in the poll. Results will be posted sometime around Midnight EST on Saturday. I know everyone here is getting antsy to see what people have to say.

10:11 PM | St Clair West  ]

After a tense day without internet access, our service has now been restored, thanks to the dilligence of one Rick.

On the plus side, being without internet prompted me to type out one of the stories I had in my writing book (a cousin of the little blue book ). I know, I know, I've heard it all before - "it's about time". My only excuse for this time lag between writings is that I don't think the crackhouse has been very inspirational for me. Although I guess I can't really blame my lack of writing on a *house*, as crackish as it might be.

Here it is: St. Clair West.

7:26 PM | hm  ]

I don't know if I have ever mentioned this before, but I seriously dislike going to the haircutters. Some people put off going to the doctor or dentist, but me, I put off going to the haircutters. Why? Because no matter what I ask for, I get almost the complete opposite. My last hair cut, I took in pictures of Meg Ryan's hair. Yes, I know that cut looks nothing like Meg Ryan's hair. Trust me, she had more than enough pictures to get it right. She *said* she knew how to do it. Therefore, the only explaination I can come up with is that she must have changed her mind partway through. It seems that hairdressers have a cut in mind for you before you even open your mouth, and no matter how much you try to dissuade them, that is the cut you are going to get. A problem with this (short of not getting the cut I want) is that very few people know how to cut wavy hair. They try to give me a cut that probably would work great on straight hair, but leaves me looking somewhat like an electrified poodle.

Only one thing about the whole hair cutting experience actually makes me happy:

    head. massage.

You know, when the person is washing your hair before hand, and you get the bonus head massage as they lather the shampoo and rub in the conditioner?

If only the hair cut could be as enjoyable (and predictable).


21.2.01 9:29 PM | round two  ]

I spent half an hour earlier this evening trying to sign up for an online RSP account. After finding the fund I wanted, I clicked the "Sign up for an account" link.

You'd think that would take me to a form that would eventually let me buy the fund I wanted, wouldn't you?

But no. After filling out the many fields (Do I really know what my bank transit number is? Not my account number, not my branch number, but my bank *transit* number?) I was taken to a list of about 25 or so funds, none of which was the one I wanted. I searched and searched and searched, but it just was not there. After giving up and cancelling the account sign-up process, I fiddled around on the site and was eventually led to another form, almost identical to the first one, but that actually looked like it might be the right one. I tool the risk, filled out all the fields *again* and was finally given a list of funds that included the one I wanted.

Now they just have mail me the form so I can sign it, give it back to them, wait the two business days for them to process the form, and actually buy my fund.

9:18 PM | WTF?  ]

I just came back to my computer to find not one, not two, but *three* icqs from three different people with the basic message of 'Why are you ignoring me?'

FYI people, if my icq says Away or Not Available, this really means Away or Not Available. Very, *very* rarely does it mean Actually Sitting at My Computer But Forgot to Change it to Available.

1:06 PM | at your service  ]

I had to go to the bank today. Not just an ATM machine, which can be found at any street corner, but an actual branch. To speak to an actual person. <shudder>

You see, the deadline for RSP contributions happens to be the end of the month. So last night I sat down and figured out where I want to put my money. No problem. The problem came at the point when I wanted to sign up. You see, due to some sort of government regulation regarding the setup of mutual funds, the bank must have your *actual* signature to open the account. Not a facsimile, not a simple click on a 'Yes, I really want to do this'. Nope. Pen on paper.

Which is fine, except that process (fill out the form online, have them mail it to me so I can sign it, get it back to them somehow and then of course 2 working days to process the form) would bring my perilously close to my Feb 28th deadline.

So, with this in mind, I decided to visit my friendly neighbourhood bank to see if I could pick up the form there and cut out a few steps. A quick scan in the white pages turned up no branches. I flipped to the yellow pages in the back. A slightly more thorough scan there yielded no results either. I got our other phone book (yes, we have two, both say 2000-2001, both say for Guelph, Waterloo and surrounding regions, but each has slightly different info ... go figure) An in-depth look in this one gave me nothing. Finally, after a little navigation on the bank web site, I found a listing of the Waterloo branches.

Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm.

Yes, which works ever so nicely when I work Monday to Friday, 8:30 to 5:00 and do not work near a branch.

Bus, don't fail me now.

Long story short, I made it to the bank only to find out that online was the only way to apply.

So, the RSP contribution will get put off yet another year. It's not like I haven't already put it off for four years.

Side Note: On my way out I mentioned to my co-worker how silly these hours seemed. She laughed. She had actually recently received a letter from her bank stating that for her *convenience*, they would no longer be open on Saturdays. They would now be open Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm.


17.2.01 4:30 PM | keep 'em coming  ]

The responses to the poll have been interesting so far. If you haven't yet answered and you have an opinion (and really, who doesn't?) take a moment to click and send. You'll make a little girl very happy.

9:56 AM | B-11  ]

Keener Bingo was alive and well at the two-day web conference I attended on Thursday and Friday. It was actually somewhat scary how involved in the discussions some of these people got. There were definitely more than just a few 'teacher's pets', so to speak.

Too bad I didn't have anyone to play against. It could have been a very fun game ( ooo.. now that I got vest boy, all i need is loud lady to get my row! )


16.2.01 12:10 AM | you've been a naughty little girl  ]

**Note** Due to some of the responses, I feel compelled to add a little information: First, we are talking about an adult here (23). Second, she's not talking about random sex with the first guy who walks by - a relationship is part of the deal. Thank you. We now return you to your regularly scheduled poll.

I have this friend who has a theory. So, in the interest of science, I am putting forth the idea to you, my loyal readers, in an attempt to find an answer.

Here are the facts:

Fact 1. She would like to get laid every once in a while.
Fact 2. She is not getting laid.

Now, she's come up with 2 scenarios as to why fact #2 exists. (And by the way, she doesn't put much faith into scenario 1, it is just mentioned for the sake of an argument.)

Scenario 1. Men do not find her attractive enough to sleep with. Now, as I said, she really doesn't put much faith into this argument. She figures she's fairly bright, nice face, decent body, etc. Other people tell her she is attractive (even hot). So, as much as this seems like an easy excuse, it ain't it. Which leads to ...

Scenario 2. Men are afraid of the v-word. That's right. virgin. This one seems to hold more weight. Why? Because she can see, to some degree, why this might be. It's a bigger thing to be someone's "first" than to be their 3rd or 4th or 20th. The whole experience might be a little more awkward, tense, whatever (she wouldn't know, remember ... )

So, as I said, in the interests of 'science' we've devised a little poll. Hopefully I'll get more than just 3 responses. It's totally anonomous. We're just curious. And I'll let you all know in a week or so what the results are.

a. I like 'em with some experience.
b. virgin-smirgin. You want me, I want you, doesn't matter where you haven't been.

WOMEN ( gotta look at both sides of the coin, right? )
a. I like 'em with some experience.
b. virgin-smirgin. You want me, I want you, doesn't matter where you haven't been.

questions?comments?other possible scenarios? let us know:

(the poll is finished. View the results here .)

So, that's the story and she's stickin' to it ... unless you people tell me she is wrong. Oh, and feel free to pass along any other reasons you can think of.


14.2.01 8:38 PM | VD  ]

tip toe, through the tulips Happy Valentine's day and all.

I've got the flowers, as you can see to the right. I've got the chocolate . I've got a night of entertainment coming my way. What more could a girl ask for?

A date? Oh. That I don't have.

My original plan for tonight was actually to sit at home and veg, which is fun in itself love is blind (especially when combined with chocolate chip cookie dough). However, since Friday is Rafi's birthday and he won't be in the 'loo to celebrate it, a night at the Bomber has been planned. And I really can't think of a better way to spend a holiday centred around love than in the company of the friends.

Oh, and Guido over there to the left - he's my Valentine's gift from two years ago, a present from the lovely and ever thoughtful Terry.

5:05 PM | oh my  ]

What a wonderful surprise to come into work this morning and find some heart-shaped chocolates sitting on my desk. Seems my company went out and got treats for *everyone in the office* (about 80 people I think).

Note: I have found out that there are actually about 200 people in my office (the fact that it is so spread out is obviously misleading), which makes the chocolates all that more surprising to me.


13.2.01 10:37 PM | B-I-N-G-O  ]

I'd like to share a little game with you. It's called Keener Bingo . I'm sure some of you may have heard of it before. Some of you may have even played it before. For those who haven't, here's a brief look at the game:

  1. For each opponent, lay out a square grid on a peice of paper. The number of squares is up to you, just make sure there is an odd number. The number of squares will depend to a certain extent on the number of players/keeners (see step 2).
  2. Find the keeners in the class. Give the keeners/players interesting names like Blondie and Plaid Boy. The more interesting the name, the more interesting the game (and yes, the keeners are players, they just don't know it).
  3. The very middle square is a free square. You automatically 'get' that square - after all, you can't expect someone to actually get *all* of the squares (keener!)
  4. Fill the other squares with the player/keener names determined in step 2.
  5. Every time the keener is .. well, a keener, you 'get' that square.
  6. The first person to get a horizontal, vertical, or diagonal line wins that game.
Sounds simple, eh? You can also play the prof version, although that one only works with profs that have a propensity for saying the same words each class. And both games help you stay awake in those ever-so-dry lectures.

Not in school? The above games can easily be transferred to workplace situations. Keeners are everywhere: meetings, trainings, even the staff cafeteria. And how many times have you heard the phrases 'action item' and taking a conversation 'off-line'? You'll have your playing cards filled up in no time.

So get those pencils out and start playing! More fun than a game of tic-tac-toe!

Note: there are no guarantees that the game *will* actually be more fun than a game of tic-tac-toe. Take your chances.

2:52 PM | standing room only  ]

I am *really* looking forward to Spring Break and March Break - not because I get the time off work, but because I will finally get a seat on the bus!

Every day I get on the bus and am forced to stand for the first half of my trip. The bus empties out only two stops before mine, so really, it's not exactly advantageous to get a seat at that point.

My second bus, on the other hand, is almost empty. I have even on occasion been the only one on the bus.

Next week however, and again sometime in the middle of March, I shall get on the bus and have my choice of seats. Only one more day of cramming.

I know what you are all thinking, "What is she talking about, one more day? Tomorrow's only Wednesday!" Ah, yes grasshopper, but Thursday and Friday I'm at a seminar so I don't have to take the bus. Hence, one more day.

I bet for a moment there you thought the crackhouse was living up to its name! Alas, it is not ...


11.2.01 1:59 PM | word war  ]

In case you tuned in last night and wondered about some of my cam captions, Steve and I had a little bit of a duelling cams thing going on:

caption: monkey porn for steve caption: tracy knows me best!

2:42 AM | Laurier?  ]

Quote of the night:

"He's either gay, or he goes to Laurier ."


10.2.01 4:37 PM | vapid  ]

New word: vapid - lacking taste, zest, or flavor. I was going to use meme, since I see it everywhere, but then that very fact made me not want to use it.

I suppose you want a sentence too: "She knew it was over; where once his letters were full of jokes and stories, they were now nothing more than vapid retellings of the week's events."

12:15 PM | bitter  ]

Scroll down the page a little and read [ my last poem ] .


9.2.01 9:58 PM | uninvited  ]

Like anyone would be
I am flattered by your fascination with me
Like any hot-blooded woman
I have simply wanted an object to crave

Alanis Morrisette - Univited

6:33 PM | bof  ]

hehe. My fob story has inspired more than the normal number of e-mails. MattyHayes chimes in with his fob experiences:

"... I can remember one morning, I approached the door into the building, and this guy, rather than take his wallet [where his fob was] out of his back pocket, he decided to rear right up to the fob-sensor...it was the funniest thing to watch, pretty much due to the fact that the fob-sensor is higher than ass-level...it's actually about mid-back level...so here's this dude sticking his ass high up in the air, then jumping up to make his wallet/ass pass by the fob-sensor."
Kinda reminds me of Terry throwing her chest at the sensors at the WSIB.


8.2.01 8:21 PM | fob, part II  ]

It seems not many people are familiar with the fob. Simply put, it is like a magnetic key for doors.

This is my keyring. In case you were wondering, there are:


And of course, there is my fob. This one opens the doors at work. Unfortuately, it doesn't seem to actually work through my bag, as the ones did when I worked at the WSIB. That one was the king of fobs. We did a few experiments to see how many layers you could cover the fob with and still get it to open the door. (It was our first work term, what do you expect?) Whatever we threw its way, it would still work. It truly was a magnificent fob.

That's the kind of fob I want for my house. One that opens with authority.


7.2.01 6:31 PM | fob  ]

I think I know what the crackhouse needs - a front door that opens with a fob.

Bear with me here ...

If the front door had a fob, I could easily just flash my bag at the sensor and the door would open. No fumbling for keys hiding in the deepest corners of my pocket or the darkest recesses of my bag.

I wouldn't have to take my mittens off either.

Then again, maybe we should work on more pressing issues like, oh I don't know, the heating bills, weird smells and roomate issues first before I go off imaging new and wonderful things.


5.2.01 5:51 PM | UNIX  ]

"... ah, I see the problem. Take away that dash there, add dash f there, make that a big C, switch the x and the little c, and make that a big B - not a little b - a big B. Oh, and change that v."

"um ... okay."

Programmers should not speak UNIX to anyone other than themselves.


4.2.01 11:35 AM | whirlers  ]

The writers list I belong to is an endless source of amusement for me. I think I'll have to keep subscribing to it even once I am done this job.

The new word is courtesy of this list: sesquipedalianism - the use of long words. I shall give you the word, as it was used in the list: "In the language of specifications, a 'formal' language is one that is heavily weighted with mathematics, formula, notation with minimal text, not obfuscated text littered with sesquipedalianism ."

It even uses one of my previous words: obfuscated.

Can you not *see* why the list amuses me so much?


2.2.01 9:26 AM | kick the car  ]

After the minor dumping of snow that happened here in Waterloo overnight, I was amused this morning to see that not many people are aquainted with my favourite winter game, which I have affectionately dubbed "kick-the-car". Sure it's really kick the wheelwells of the car, but kick the car just has a better ring to it.

9:24 AM | i'm sorry  ]

I got a bagel this morning, in an attempt to make up for my folly of yesterday. I hope I have appeased the gods of fate.

7:10 AM | boing  ]

There once was a little girl
Who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
And when she was good
She was very, very good ...

... And when she was bad she was horrid!

I used to hear that limerick so often as a child, because I did (and still do) have a curl smack-dab in the middle of my forehead. And the part of it that always got the emphasis was the ' and when she was bad she was horrid! "

Kinda harsh for a kid, don't you think?


1.2.01 2:11 PM | ppllbbbtttt  ]

Conference calls are fun. If you make a face at what is being said, the people on the other end of the line will never know.

Video conference calls are not so fun. After a while you forget that you are on camera and you make a face at something that was said, then remember the camera and spend the rest of the meeting wondering if the other person saw you.

8:52 AM | a buck fiddy-nine  ]

This morning as I prepared for our daily trip to Tim Horton's I searched my pockets for change and came up with exactly $1.59. For those who don't know, that is the *exact* amount needed for a Poppy Seed Bagel, Toasted, with Plain Cream Cheese. The *exact* amount. I figured it was meant to be. The bagel would be mine.

But, once in Timmy's I realised I have a meeting in 5 minutes and would not have time to eat the bagel before the meeting. And it would be rude to eat the bagel *in* the meeting, with everyone smelling that bagel-y goodness and not having any of their own.

So, I have opted for a Honey Cruller. Seventy cents. Quick to eat.

I now have 89 cents sitting in my pocket. 89 cents that was *meant* for my Poppy Seed Bagel, Toasted, with Plain Cream Cheese. Is this tempting fate? We can only wait and see ...