Spring always brings mixed emotions to me – I’m always very happy that the warmer weather is here, but with that warmer weather comes some of the things I dislike. One of those things is what I see as on over-reliance on lawn maintenance products.

Charles used to be a fertilizer user (not sure about pesticides) but as soon as we got Paco, we realized that wouldn’t work out since Paco needs to go on the grass to do his business, and he can’t hold it long enough for the fertilizer to completely work its way into the ground. So Charles agreed to do only overseeding and look into some of the more natural lawn maintenance programs. But it turns out that most of the businesses marketing natural ones aren’t actually fully behind their product – they advertise natural methods and then try to sell you the generic ones saying that the natural ones aren’t guaranteed. (Kind of reminds me of stores that advertise huge discounts on items, but neglect to mention that they only have 2 in stock at that price, so when you show up, they are hoping that you are more inclined to purchase a similar item just because you are there. Not illegal, just annoying).

But back to the fertilizers – lawn maintenance is pretty expensive if you do go with one of the companies, since they want to set you up on a monthly schedule with several different applications. So I can see why people want to save money and do it themselves. And while I don’t agree that all of that is usually necessary, I can appreciate that people want pretty lawns to look at (if not play on) so as long as they put the little flags on their lawns to let me know, I don’t usually get annoyed (although you can usually smell the pesticides several houses away, which is a wee bit annoying). This allows me to keep my dogs off the lawn and therefore keep the fertilizers/pesticides off of them. But what I don’t understand is the people who spread the fertilizer on the sidewalk. Are you trying to encourage weeds to grow there? Because that’s really the only thing that has enough stammina to grow in that tiny space while being trampled by the masses.

• “She’s getting bigger by the day!”
• “Wow – you really look pregnant today!”
• “How many pounds have you gained?”
• “When are you due? Oh, you’re so big already!”

You may notice a recurring theme here ….

So far, I have not had anyone randomly rub my belly (other than my husband), but I’ve had enough comments on my weight to make me wish that I could spend the next five months on a deserted island with no mirrors or scales or people. And seeing as I am only four months pregnant, so I’m only going to get bigger!

It’s hard to keep telling yourself that every woman is different when everyone seems to expect you to fit into some ideal mold (that probably doesn’t even exist).

As a side-note, something that you should not say to your not-yet-pregnant wife:

• “I’m looking forward to the mood swings – they’ll be fun”.

Unless you mean it, and really mean it. ‘Cuz she’ll remember that forever.

Previously (99 bottles of Champagne on the wall …)